Jacob and Benjy Fall into A Coma - The Lemmings Decide to Remain Neutral

On Saturday, June 11, the elephants announced that they had fully supplied Jacob and Benjy with enough Chinese food for their all-you-can-eat buffet. Jacob and Benjy feasted non-stop for the next three days. While Jacob and Benjy were having their buffet, the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. and the cap't'lists drafted war plans. These plans are certainly still drafts, given that the cap't'lists' plan only strategy is to sing "London Bridge" until the communists surrender. Meanwhile, Jacob and Benjy, together, ate a total of 491 bushels of rice, 3 metric tons of teriyaki chicken, a teaspoon of lo mein, and 371 gallons of soup. Benjy wrote the second part of "the Apocalypse" (see "Benjy writes 'the Cliffs'") during the buffet. After the buffet, Jacob and Benjy immediately passed out, and despite the efforts of Ølåf and Ølgå, they would not stir. It was concluded that Jacob and Benjy were in a coma. Jacob and Benjy are currently being displayed at the local science museum called "the effects of not paying your taxes and letting the money you owe slowly accumulate." While Jacob and Benjy were in a coma, Ølåf shaved both of their heads. Jacob and Benjy are expected to wake up from their coma in early September. The lemmings, who had formed an alliance the cap't'lists after the bombing of the World (see "the World blows up"), decided that they would remain neutral throughout the war. "Methinks the cause for which we hast drawn our swords is faulty, and we wilst not makest the same mistake again," said Ål, the main representative of the lemmings. "We wilst watcheth safely whilst the foolish foes clasheth, and, eventually, falleth. However, if there be-est cause of it, we wilst joineth one side of the war." Both the communists and cap't'lists are trying to persuade the lemmings to join their side.