Lemmings Own You

"LEMMINGS OWN YOU". It is now a Fact. Last Thursday, after nearly a century, the theory that Lemmings own you was proven by Sål, the famous mathematician who happens to be friends with Ål. This theory, which states only that LEMMINGS OWN YOU, and is simply called the Lemming Hypothesis, was created by Pål, Sål's distant ancestor, in 1907. The proof to this involves complex functions such as adding, and makes heavy use of the additive property of zero. At first the Lemmings Hypothesis was not accepted by the Lemming Community, but, after close examination by the F.B.I, the C.I.A., and the N.B.A., it was accepted. Now that the Lemmings know for a fact that they are they A.S.S. (Almighty Supreme Species), their view on the war has dramatically changed. "Now we knowst that we shalt surely not joineth our forces to the war, for why shouldst we; we ownest them all." However, the war still remains in the Top Twenty Most Important T.T.G.O.N.'s (Things That Goest On Now) for the Lemmings, coming in 11th place. 18 of the top twenty are related to the Lemming Hypothesis, except for the everpresent sewage clogging problem, which comes in third. At a recent press conference, Ål said, "Whoever doest loseth in this war, we wilst have to disown."