The Moose's Failure to Comb Their Teeth Ends in Major Drought in the Western Pacific

"The waw has pweoccupied us gweatwy," said Hnorsgh (see "Jacob and Benjy Get Turned into the Police"), who is the president of the Cap't'lists. "Pwehaps too gweatwy, it has distwacted us fwom ouw basic ev'wyday tasks, and this has cost us gweatwy." This can surely be said for the Moose's extreme failure to comb their teeth, which is their replacement for brushing them. In past years, the Mooses have combed their teeth regularly, but now they are too distracted by questions about the war, such as "are we going to win?" and "who do you think has the advantage?" "do you think that if the Communists start winning, should we join them?", and they forget about their basic needs. The Moose's failure to comb their teeth has had interesting effects on themselves. In fact, the Mooses have grown very bucktoothed in the past few days. This doese not affect the Mooses too much, except when their teeth start touching the ground when they walk. "It'th altho a bit har' t' tawk ifs y' ge' m'meani'g," said Smorgasborg, who, as it turned out, was not in Siberia at all, as Zyggi the Zebra was told, but in Saas-Khatch-Eehe-Wahan. The Mooses have felt a great need to use their buck teeth, and they have used them by drilling holes in Saas-Khatch-Eehe-Wahan with their newly elongated teeth. But this has somehow caused drought in what the M.O.O.S.E. (Measurers Of Obviously Silly Epitaphs) called "the Western Pacific". In the Western Pacific, the average ocean depth was 8,530 feet, according to the M.O.O.S.E., and now it is only 8,529 feet and 11 7/8 inches. It is currently not known why the holes have caused this drought, although it is suspected that it is a direct cause of the airhogs, the close relatives of the groundhogs, which are clearly unhappy about the drilling for some reason. The Moose and the M.O.O.S.E. are currently trying to find out why the airhogs are so unhappy. They are also trying to remember to comb their teeth, but they are, if anything, doing a worse job at remembering ever.