The E.U.G.W.J. and MCAS Take the Implications of the Word "Economical" Seriously in the Second Battle of Hilda

Today, the E.U.G.W.J. and MCAS met inside the lamaple maple tree that was declared the place for the second battle of the T.W.O.W. It was difficult fitting everyone into a tree, and in the end, everyone got less space than their body mass. For almost three hours, they debated what to do for the second battle. The first battle, it seemed to them, though extremely fun, seemed a bit unsatisfying and only seemed like a victory for the MCAS, who lost the first battle. But then finally, Bêñjÿ said, "Weii neidkz tu d'oou sompthreeing fhoor the sechzond baehtle uf Heeilda. Eii seazh weii taekthz th'meeingg uf "eec'noumic'l" seerioszhly. Laeght's du sompthreeing that d'oouz weeth th'eec'noumy."

It was eventually decided after over six hours that they should follow Bêñjÿ's advice. It was also decided the battle would be about minimum wage. The E.U.G.W.J. and MCAS had different goals for this battle. The E.U.G.W.J.'s goal was to raise the MCAS's minimum wage, so Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ would have to pay the Walrus more. Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ hate paying the Walrus, and only do so because Sveq threatened to eat Rice Krispies if they weren't paid. The MCAS's goal is instead to lower the E.U.G.W.J.'s minimum wage. Because the Lemmings and Penguins are so poor, their minumum wage is 1 cent per year. If the mininum wage was lowered to 1 cent per 18 months, there would be mass poverty and revolts. The battle started on the count of 62, 174.

The E.U.G.W.J.'s plan was to write a plea to the government entitled "Low Minimum Wage brings mass poverty and revolts to the Walrus." Unfortuately, when it was being sent through the post office, it was accidentally picked up by the intergalactic travelers, who were on earth to celebrate the five-month anniversary of Foghorn. The intergalactic travelers misinterpreted the letter to be a complaint about low sales of aspirin on Earth. The intergalactic travelers have been selling aspirin ever since the fourth article of Foghorn, and now they are doubling their sales. Unfortuately, the E.U.G.W.J. did not accomplish their mission.

The MCAS's plan went amuck as well. Their plan was to hack into the E.U.G.W.J's account. The only computer they found was a 1991 Apple. Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ wanted a table to put the computer on, and asked the first table they found if if would mind having a computer on it. The table remained silent. After all, it had a right to. This silence made Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ think that the table was refusing, so they asked again, and the table still did not talk. Rumor has it that Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ are still trying to get the table to answer.

After the E.U.G.W.J. and the MCAS tried for several unsuccessful hours with their plans, a rumor somehow broke out that the natioinal minimum wage was being lowered from $5.15 to $5.05. This caused mass chaos, and many of the lemmings suddenly became absurdly interested in counting the number of skin cells on their ears. Eventually, the second battle of Hilda was declared a draw. The E.U.G.W.J. and MCAS went back to their homes for self-evaluation. At the same time, the third battle of the T.W.O.W. was declared a draw.