Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ Thwart Jacob and Benjy's Second Attempt to Get the MCAS Disbanded With Enormousurmous Intellect and a Bit of Luck

Today, Jacob and Benjy, the current members of the E.U.G.W.J., decided that now that the MCAS was restarted, they had to do something about it. So Jacob and Benjy decided that they should try to get the MCAS disbanded again. After all, they said, it was "unacceptable to let the MCAS destroy what they had worked so hard to accomplish." Ål, who at the time was floating on the treetops right over where Jacob and Benjy were, said that hadn't they really done the destroying by getting the MCAS disbanded, but Jacob and Benjy could not hear him. In fact, Jacob and Benjy could not hear anything.

This was in fact not because Jacob and Benjy were deaf, or that they were too self-absorbed to acknowledge the fact that there is anything else in the world besides them, but because Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ had sent Sveq and his children, Bveq, Pveq, Nveq and Zveq, to put a ball of wax coated with a relatively thick lamaple maple syrup in Jacob and Benjy's ear. The fivesome were clearly visible while sneaking up on Jacob and Benjy, but Jacob and Benjy thought the walruses were eggbeaters dressed up as walruses. The job was pretty easy, because Jacob and Benjy only have one ear, which they take turns using. After Jacob and Benjy noticed they had wax in their ear, they debated what to do about. They could always pull it out, but that would involve moving their hands, something they were against doing. In the end, they decided they would live with it and continue with their noble quest.

So Jacob and Benjy marched to Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ's headquarters in the middle of the Rio Grande, and quickly and quietly enacted their plan. Their plan was simple. At the front entrance of Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ's headquarters, there is a sign saying "MCAS - Montreal Cohilition to Annihilate Saskatchewan". Jacob and Benjy would quickly change the sign to "SCAM - Saskatchewan Cohilition to Annihilate Montreal". When Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ saw the new title of their organization, they would hopefully be so thoroughly disgusted that they would be forced to disband their own group. They would be disgusted for two reasons. The first is that Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ would not want to be part of a scam for any purpose. The second is that Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ grew up in Saskatchewan, which is why they are trying to destroy it. Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ could not bear working for their home province, or trying to destroy Montreal.

Jacob and Benjy were almost a quarter of the way through when they were spotted by Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ. When Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ saw what they were doing, he immediately ordered a can of spray-paint. By the time they were finsihed doing this, Jacob and Benjy were over halfway finished. Then Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ abruptly and unexpectedly started doing the crossword puzzle at record speed. They did the Boston Globe crossword in twelve seconds, the New York Times in twenty-one, the Philidelphia Phammer in under an eighth of a second, and the Pittsburgh Plopper in 4 hours 31 minutes.

Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ then called the local stockbroker, by the name of Pete, and told him to come over for lunch and have a nice little chat. By this time, Jacob and Benjy were nearly finished. Then Peter arrived, saw the crossword puzzles, and bet Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ that he could do them even better. Then Pete started doing the crossword so abysmally that Jacob and Benjy felt obligated to help him. But then, at that moment, the can of spray paint arrived, and Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ spray-painted out "SCAM - Saskatchewan Cohilition to Annihilate Montreal", which Jacob and Benjy had nearly finished writing, and rewrote MCAS again. Then Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ arrested Jacob and Benjy for trespassing on private property. Unfortuantely, they put Jacob and Benjy under the custody of the E.U.G.W.J., who immediately released them for "confidential reasons."

Jacob and Benjy are said to be "disappointed" by the failure of their second attempt to get the MCAS disbanded, but, as they said, they did the best they could. The Lemmings and Penguins congruatulated Jacob and Benjy for a valliant effort, and a feast was declared in honor of scams and spam emails. Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ are greatly excited by their thwarting of Jacob and Benjy's plans, and so are the Walrus. Sveq said recently, "This triumph over Jacob 'n' Benjy 'sgood. 'Sgreat. This triumph 'llbring wonder 'n'excitement to all o'th'Walrus. I's greatly excited." It should be noted that at last, Jacob and Benjy removed the wax from their ear. The the location of the second battle of Hilda has been changed to inside the same lamaple maple tree that Sveq and his children got the lamaple maple syrup from.