Third Battle of the T.W.O.W. ends in Joke War Resulting in a Lot of Deaths
Third Battle of T.W.O.W.
Place: the Azores
Date: October 10, 2005
Casualties:
Communists: 48
Cap't'lists: 37
Total: 85
Total Casualties of T.W.O.W.
Communists 49
Cap't'lists: 39
Total: 88
Today, the armies of the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. and the Cap't'lists congregated in the southwestern area of the Azores to fight the third battle of the T.W.O.W. By now, the armies were seasoned fighters even though they hadn't done any fighting. This impossibility is currently being examined by the World Health Organization, and over 26,000 people might get diagnosed with a terminal illness. Since the armies were so seasoned, they didn't even bother wasting any time, and immediately plunged down the Valley of Broken Pieces of Rice Krispies, as it is now called in honor of Jaja Bebe.
After nearly two hours of shooting, a total of 18 people were dead: 8 on the Communists' side, and 10 on the Cap't'lists'. But suddenly, the air hogs appeared out of a small opening between a legs of a 18" by 26.5" table that had accidentally wandered into the Azores. Then Soozie, the leader of the air hogs spoke. He said, "You really need to tell thome joketh. It'th really nethethary. You don't know what a mithtake it would be if you jetht ignored me. In fakkhrtht*, you thould make thith battle a joke war." Then Soozie disappeared into on top of the table and has not been seen since.
In the end, it was decided to listen to Soozie's advice, and the third battle was turned into a joke war. Funny sayings like "a car wash is like a cat without wheels" were put up around the perimeter of the battle area. Joke books were going to be put inside the guns to replace bullets, but they wouldn't fit. Jak the Yak was the first one to tell a joke. He said, "what do you call a lemon eating a cat?" Unfortuately, as he spoke, the sound waves knocked over the table. Seconds later, a deck of cards fell out of the sky from a passing card shark and landed on the side of the table, miraclously balancing on the edge. The armies of the Cap't'lists and Communists then began playing cards. However, when the deck of cards fell over, everyone fainted from shock. Before they could regain consciousness, a peach roughly the side of a marble and resembling a Mars Bar in many ways fell down and killed the 67 people who were around the table. Fortuantely, the table was unhurt.
Now Jak the Yak told another joke. It was, "how do you tell when your watch is wrong?" Another curious thing happened, involving a paper clip, a pencil, and the same table, which resulted in 27 deaths. The paper clip and the pencil ganged up on the table and brutally injured with several right hooks. The table was then catapulted into the wine-making part of France where it was interpreted as a sign from God by the wine-makers to file for bankruptcy. None of the wine-makers successfully made it to the bank because they suddenly were diagnosed (falsely) by the World Health Organization with a terminal illness.
Incidentally, at this point Idyl Brownn answered the joke: "Froopi kaloop abutoop poop." This was actually incorrect, but Jak the Yak could not tell Idyl Brownn that because Jak the Yak had launched into a tirade blasting the International Paint Co. for allowing paint to come in Orange. "Heys all of usses comrades," Jak the Yak said. "Thisses International Paint Co. is terrrible yaaaaaa, moorr terrrible than even usses comrades, and usses comrades thought, yaaaaaaaaaa, that usses comrades was prrrrrrretty terrrible, yaaaaaaaa."
At this point, the joke war and thus the Third Battle of the T.W.O.W. came to an abrupt halt when by a freak act of nature, the Azores and a small island in the South Pacific sunk under water. The South Pacific Island, known as Kirtiwata, was unihabited. The partakers in the T.W.O.W. were saved only when a passing jet managed to rescue them at the very last second. On the way to Boston, the partakers in the T.W.O.W. played gin rummy and backgammon.
The participants in the T.W.O.W. are enraged by the a lot of deaths, and they blame it on the air hogs. They are so annoyed at the air hogs, that they have figured out a way to stop the air hogs turning the fourth battle of the T.W.O.W. into a silly contest, which is to make up a silly contest themselves. This silly contest is expected to be a staring contest. The fourth battle of the T.W.O.W. will happen in the back of an abandoned pickup truck, in either late October, or early November. The second battle of Hilda will be in five days.
*fact
Place: the Azores
Date: October 10, 2005
Casualties:
Communists: 48
Cap't'lists: 37
Total: 85
Total Casualties of T.W.O.W.
Communists 49
Cap't'lists: 39
Total: 88
Today, the armies of the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. and the Cap't'lists congregated in the southwestern area of the Azores to fight the third battle of the T.W.O.W. By now, the armies were seasoned fighters even though they hadn't done any fighting. This impossibility is currently being examined by the World Health Organization, and over 26,000 people might get diagnosed with a terminal illness. Since the armies were so seasoned, they didn't even bother wasting any time, and immediately plunged down the Valley of Broken Pieces of Rice Krispies, as it is now called in honor of Jaja Bebe.
After nearly two hours of shooting, a total of 18 people were dead: 8 on the Communists' side, and 10 on the Cap't'lists'. But suddenly, the air hogs appeared out of a small opening between a legs of a 18" by 26.5" table that had accidentally wandered into the Azores. Then Soozie, the leader of the air hogs spoke. He said, "You really need to tell thome joketh. It'th really nethethary. You don't know what a mithtake it would be if you jetht ignored me. In fakkhrtht*, you thould make thith battle a joke war." Then Soozie disappeared into on top of the table and has not been seen since.
In the end, it was decided to listen to Soozie's advice, and the third battle was turned into a joke war. Funny sayings like "a car wash is like a cat without wheels" were put up around the perimeter of the battle area. Joke books were going to be put inside the guns to replace bullets, but they wouldn't fit. Jak the Yak was the first one to tell a joke. He said, "what do you call a lemon eating a cat?" Unfortuately, as he spoke, the sound waves knocked over the table. Seconds later, a deck of cards fell out of the sky from a passing card shark and landed on the side of the table, miraclously balancing on the edge. The armies of the Cap't'lists and Communists then began playing cards. However, when the deck of cards fell over, everyone fainted from shock. Before they could regain consciousness, a peach roughly the side of a marble and resembling a Mars Bar in many ways fell down and killed the 67 people who were around the table. Fortuantely, the table was unhurt.
Now Jak the Yak told another joke. It was, "how do you tell when your watch is wrong?" Another curious thing happened, involving a paper clip, a pencil, and the same table, which resulted in 27 deaths. The paper clip and the pencil ganged up on the table and brutally injured with several right hooks. The table was then catapulted into the wine-making part of France where it was interpreted as a sign from God by the wine-makers to file for bankruptcy. None of the wine-makers successfully made it to the bank because they suddenly were diagnosed (falsely) by the World Health Organization with a terminal illness.
Incidentally, at this point Idyl Brownn answered the joke: "Froopi kaloop abutoop poop." This was actually incorrect, but Jak the Yak could not tell Idyl Brownn that because Jak the Yak had launched into a tirade blasting the International Paint Co. for allowing paint to come in Orange. "Heys all of usses comrades," Jak the Yak said. "Thisses International Paint Co. is terrrible yaaaaaa, moorr terrrible than even usses comrades, and usses comrades thought, yaaaaaaaaaa, that usses comrades was prrrrrrretty terrrible, yaaaaaaaa."
At this point, the joke war and thus the Third Battle of the T.W.O.W. came to an abrupt halt when by a freak act of nature, the Azores and a small island in the South Pacific sunk under water. The South Pacific Island, known as Kirtiwata, was unihabited. The partakers in the T.W.O.W. were saved only when a passing jet managed to rescue them at the very last second. On the way to Boston, the partakers in the T.W.O.W. played gin rummy and backgammon.
The participants in the T.W.O.W. are enraged by the a lot of deaths, and they blame it on the air hogs. They are so annoyed at the air hogs, that they have figured out a way to stop the air hogs turning the fourth battle of the T.W.O.W. into a silly contest, which is to make up a silly contest themselves. This silly contest is expected to be a staring contest. The fourth battle of the T.W.O.W. will happen in the back of an abandoned pickup truck, in either late October, or early November. The second battle of Hilda will be in five days.
*fact
posted by Jaja at 10/10/2005 05:13:00 PM
Great Blog!
If you have time, please visit my site at dreams.
Dudes, you can learn how to knit and get dreams from the Lemmings for only 25 cents, so your sites are pretty much a waste of time.
Psychology is a Key to Succeeding in Blogger Relations
Kelly Abbott is correct when he writes that the best way to reach a blogger is to understand that he or she is motivated by something deeper than mere words on a virtual page.
Nice going! You have a super blog here! I have a credit counseling site/blog. It pretty much covers credit counseling and related stuff. Check out the self-help credit issues.
How come all you guys are "anonymous" and all three of you wrote your comments within a minute of each other. If I didn't know better, which I don't, I'd say you was all the same person writin' three comments just so you can advertise three times w/out me knowin' that ye did.
By the way, I suggest you start working for the International Paint Co.
lol
More like "looooooooooooooooooooool"
I really enjoyed looking at your site, I found it very helpful indeed, keep up the good work.
»
Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.
»