The Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. and the Cap't'lists Leave for Their Cruises

Today, both the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. and the Cap't'lists started their voyages, each side only taking one canoe to reach their destinations. They only used one canoe because their budgets were only 25 cents, and the canoes were 20 cents each. The way that they were able to fit everyone on one canoe was simple: They stood on each other's shoulders throughout the voyage. Nüt said, "eet waren't so baad staending on anither's shalders, whot ware so baad was hauveeng anither staend on yer shalders." Therefore, Jak the Yak, Nüt, Gewaiewfaijwiuhiwfu, and Zyggi the Zebra got to sit on top, and all the peasants had to sit on the bottom. Both sides reached their first destinations without major incident, except for the air hogs. Having been accused of hogging all of the air, the air hogs decided to seeks their fortune in the ocean. Throughout the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R's voyage, the air hogs did nothing except swim real close to the canoe and tell extremely bad jokes, except for the time that they boarded the canoe and asked if anyone wanted car insurance. The Communists insisted that they already had insurance, but Soozie, the leader of the air hogs insisted, "You need to buy inthuranth. It'th really nethethary. You don't know what a mithtake it would be if ye jetht ingored me." After a while, the air hogs became such a nusaince that they bought insurance for 3 cents, giving them two cents for funding for the war. The Cap't'lists did not have any major incident with the air hogs, except for the occasional attempt to get the Cap't'lists to buy another canoe. The Cap't'lists refused, with many groans from the peasants. The Cap't'lists arrived in Jamaica at 11:58 p.m., and the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. arrived in Portugal at 11:57 p.m.

However, Zyggi the Zebra is not going with the rest of the Z.D.Y.D.L.D.E.D.R. on the Mediterranean cruise, but is instead, going to spend the summer in Siberia, looking for Smorgasborg. He is going to get revenge, but not in the old-fashioned way. When he finds Smorgasborg, he will challenge him to a game of poker, and he will rig the deck so that Smorgasborg will lose all of his money. but Zyggi's plan does not really matter, because Smorgasborg is not in Siberia, and in fact, he is going on the Caribbean cruise. Zyggi plans to go on a Siberian cruise during the summer, while he is searching for Smorgasborg. He will take a plane to Provideniya on the 26th, and he will stay there until July 2nd. Then he will spend July 2-15 traveling around the Sea of Okhotsk. After that, he will spend July 15th to August 2nd in Kamchatskiy. He will spend the rest of August visiting Srednekolymsk and Verkhenevilyuysk, and then he will go back to Montreal for the T.W.O.W. Ziggy said at a press conference yesterday, "Dude, if I'm going to spend my dudy days in Siberia, I might as will rock some places, and, like, maybe try to get a few joints on the way. At least it won't be hot there."