The Communists Win the Handshake Duel

Today, Jak the Yak, Nüt, Gewaiewfaijwiuhiwfu, and Zyggi the Zebra faced Smorgasborg, Ølåf, Idyll Brown, and Idyl Brownn for the handshake duel, which was part of a three-day competition to decide the outcome of the incipient T.W.O.W. First, Jak the Yak fought Smorgasborg first. The procude went perfectly. Jak the Yak and Smorgasborg turned their backs, faced each other, turned their backs again, took three steps, faced each other again, ran up to each other, and engaged in a very thorough and energetic handshake. After much consideration by the imaginary judges, it was decided that Jak the Yak's handshake was more enthustastic, so the score was 1-0. Then Nüt faced Ølåf. Nüt's handshake was very forceful and energetic, but Ølåf's was so spectuacular that the imaginary judges (who were on the Communists' side in Jak the Yak's imagination) had to give in, making the score 1-1. Nüt then had a long talk with his coach about what he did wrong and how he could improve. By now it was about noon, so a lunch break was called, and enough hamburgers for the populace of the Communists and Cap't'lists were ordered. Unfortunately, they were ordered from McDonald's. Within seconds of their first bite, almost everyone was either moaning or was unconscious. Fortunately, Gewaiewfaijwiuhiwfu, Zyggi the Zebra, Idyll Brown, and Idyl Brownn brought their own food, so they could continue. Gewaiewfaijwiuhiwfu lost to Idyll Brown, making the score 1-2. Just before Zyggi the Zebra was to face Idyl Brownn, Idyl Brownn remembered he had been invited to a party that day, and that if he didn't leave now, he would have to run to it. The Cap't'lists were forced to forfeit. The mind-wrestling competition will take place tomorrow.