Lemmings Find a War

Today the Lemmings found a war. The war, whose name was Hilda, was hiding in a box. The box was about to be shipped off to Cap't'list Headquarters, but just then Ål (who had finally recoved from the drinks), burst in and opened the box. Facing the throngs of left-handed sociopaths that wanted Hilda, he took war out of the box, threw it to Sål, who was a whopping 1 foot 3 inches away, and the war was immediately transferred to the Lemmings' headquarters. Hilda is now under custody of the Lemmings. Ål had this to say on the capture of Hilda, "Methinks that this rogue Hilda wildt now be under thy custody of thoust Lemmings, the A.S.S." At that point, the throngs of Lemmings went wild and shaved their left eyebrows as a show of good faith, and Ål was so shocked by the idea that people admire him that he fainted, and was taken away to a hospital.

Now that the Lemmings, have found a war, they will use it against Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ in an economic war that will be known, of course, as Hilda. Hilda will be about the political implications of free-market economies, the rising price of guavas, and the meaning of the word "Go", among other things. As you know, Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ will get back from their visit with the Walrus tomorrow. Jåçøb and Bêñjÿ know nothing of Hilda, but they will be informed at a meeting with Ål and Ål Jr. on Monday in Detroit. The first battle of Hilda will be expected to start on September 19th, in the Cap't'lists' hindquarters.